With Mother’s Day right around the corner, I am of course reminded of my own mother and how much I miss her. I lost her to cancer 9 years ago and although the pain of losing her has lessened with time, thankfully the memories I have of her remain vivid.
My mother at 18
My mother was not educated, as far as schooling went. Being the oldest of 8 children, she had to give up her education in order to get a job to help feed her 7 younger siblings. Fortunately, the lack of formal education didn’t affect the wisdom that passed from her lips on occasions too numerous to count.
I remember one night I was watching my two younger brothers while my parents were at a neighbor’s yard party. At one point, the older of the two boys fell to the ground, clutching his ears while screaming. I called the neighbors to get my parents home and although I don’t remember what the doctor told them, the outcome was that my brother had lost his hearing from one ear and he would possibly lose his hearing from the other one day in the future.
One day as my brother and I were fighting (like we did on a daily basis) and my mother heard me tell him, with venom on my lips, that I hated him. I didn’t use that word lightly and rarely said it (out loud at least) and the way my mother looked at me will forever be burned in memory. When she finally spoke, she said, “If he were to lose his hearing now, do you really want those words to be the last thing he hears?”
Ouch. I never told him that again…ever.
In the early years of my marriage, my husband and I were having problems. Not just little ones that all couples have to deal with, but some really big ones that would cause most people to run to their divorce lawyer. I wanted to leave, but something my mother had said earlier kept coming to mind. “The reason that the divorce rate is so high is because young people just don’t try hard enough to make things work.” Because of those words, I was determined not to be ranked among those who gave up without a good fight. My husband and I are still together after 27 years and although things aren’t perfect, they are pretty good. I’m glad that I took my mother’s words to heart, not only for the purpose of saving my marriage but for many other challenges I have faced in my life so far.
She also had great intuition. It seems that as a teen, I dated a few “losers”. My father fought me on each of them until my mother’s wisdom finally sunk in; the more you try to pull them apart, the closer they will become. It worked too. She probably saved me a lot of heartache by responding the right way.
Photo credit: singlegirlblogging.com
Her intuition stayed strong right up until her last day with us. She had battled throat cancer for 3 years and slept every night on a special lazy boy that was bought for her, because she couldn’t lie down flat without choking. On the night of Jan. 6, 2004 she slept in the bed she shared with my father, for the first time since she’d fallen ill. She never woke up.
My mother was a firm believer in angels and this was apparent whenever you stepped inside her home. I stayed with my father for a week after she died, to help with arrangements and just to be with him, and he found a poem written by my mother, which talked about an angel coming for her. She knew that she wasn’t going to live through the night. How she knew that, is beyond me. I’d like to think that she is now a guardian angel for some poor soul here on earth, doing what she did best; helping other people.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom.
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