Car Sex - Part I

Having sex in a car is something that probably 80% of us have already tried.  It’s a “do-able” fantasy so more people will attempt to make it a reality.  There ARE dangers involved however and they should be considered before attempting this yourself.  You need to be somewhat flexible because of the lack of space so I wouldn’t suggest it to the elderly.  The sound of brittle bones breaking and hips dislocating as well as the overwhelming aroma of Ben Gay, is anything but sexy.  And the mental image of a wrinkled old ass on the fogged up windows makes me through up in my mouth a little. 

Location is also important.  Sex in public is pretty much illegal no matter where you are so it’s best to find a hidden spot where you’re less likely to be caught doing the nasty.  Others however, like a little more daring and will go to an empty corner of a parking lot.  Personally, I prefer a wooded area, but I’ve also done it in broad daylight in a mall parking lot.  I worried about being caught at first, but it didn’t take long for the windows to be significantly fogged up.  Passersby may still know what you’re doing but they can’t see inside the car.  Only problem with that is that you won’t be able to see the moron dialing the cops from his cell phone.  He’s just jealous and tired of jerking off every night. 

Positions:  Obviously, you have to be a little creative to have sex in a car, especially if it’s a compact.  These tried and true positions are for the incredibly horny creative, flexible and risk-taking couples out there. 

On the hood: If you enjoy sex IN the car, you’re going to LOVE sex on the hood of the car.  Here are a couple of standard positions for those who love the outdoors and the risk of being seen by others. 

The Wraparound.  The woman sits on the hood and wraps her legs around the guy’s waist.  She can control by thrusting her pelvis forward or pulling him closer with her legs.  She also can use the bumper as a footrest. 

Photo credit: car-sex-positions.com

The Bridge.  She lays back on the hood with him standing between her legs.  She lifts her legs straight up allowing for deep penetration and will make both of you feel like porn stars. 

car-sex-positions.com

Oh…and if you’re not an ass, you’ll let the engine warm up so that her ass doesn’t freeze on the cold metal surface of the hood.

Photo credit: thosefunnypictures.com

 

Sixty-Nne (69).  Simultaneous oral sex.  Rug-munching and knob-gobbling for all. 

Up and at ‘Em.  Almost missionary, but her legs are raised up against her chest.  Looks like he’s resting his weight on her.  Lazy bastard.

Cowgirl.  Save a horse, ride a cowboy.  Yee haw.

Front seat.  Depending on the model of car and whether it’s standard or automatic, you may or may not have enough room in the front for the wild thing.  If you do though, keep these 2 basic positions in mind. 

Classic.   This one is pretty obvious.  Passenger seat reclined as far back as possible.  Mind you, this picture shows carrot top on his knees and unless his dick is really long, this isn’t going to work.

Straddle.  Just like cowgirl, but in a reclined chair.  Love the look on his face.

While Driving.  Before I go on, I want to remind that attempting ANYTHING that requires your attention while driving is dangerous and should not be attempted unless you’re high.  

Sit on my Lap.  This one doesn’t require too much explanation.  He operates pedals and shift and she steers.  He can’t see a fucking thing so I hope she’s paying attention.  Sure she is. 

Face to Face.  Also self-explanatory.  Think he’s looking where he’s going?  Is it her fault he can’t see?  Tell that to the mother duck and 10 ducklings he just ran over.  Ass face.

Reach-over...or blowjob…or “planning on asking for something really expensive”.  This really needs no explanation.  Get naked.  Wrap your lips around his dick.  Hope you don’t crash and die.  There are other positions but most require you to be hanging out of the car and I’ve been there, done that, scraped 1/3 of my body on the pavement.  Oh…I thought we were talking about falling out of cars…..  All the position cartoons and position titles taken from car-sex-positions.com.

Well, that’s it for sex in cars.  Next week I will post a flash fiction incorporating car sex.   Hope you found this mildly amusing informative.  Come back next time for a much more intimate look at sex in cars.