February 14th, known worldwide as Valentine’s Day, has reared it’s ugly head once again. Last year, I wrote this post about how it’s just a crock of shit and that if you love someone, they should know it 365 days a year. This year, I decided to search for unusual and funny cards and share them with you.
With this one…well, I think it’s very romantic to threaten self harm if the object of your affection doesn’t respond the way you want them too. By the way, if you don’t tell me that you love me in the comment section, I may be reduced to cutting myself.
Photo credit: kateharperblog.blogspot.com
I love this one. “Don’t worry though, there was no blood. I used the bandaid you had on your ass to stop the boil from oozing onto your clothes.
Photo credit: http://www.trendhunter.com
Forget all those “How to Pick Up Chicks” books you’ve read. This is the way to do it. One or two blows to the head with a blunt, but heavy object. Before she has the chance to gain consciousness, tie her up and do unimaginable things to her. When she comes to, tell her that you’re married now. Untie her and tell the bitch to make you a sandwich. Now.
Photo credit: boingboing.net
Another classic. Doesn’t she know that in man speak, fucking her means the same thing as “I love you”? Stupid woman.
Photo credit: joannecasey.blogspot.com
…but a little more than chocolate. Which says a hell of a lot. You’re welcome bitch.
- Photo credit: http://www.trendhunter.com
Fuck. And all I gave you was a good dose of herpes. And Frank’s dick is bigger than yours…and it still works.
Photo credit: al02.blogspot.com
If this don’t say it all…
Photo credit: joannecasey.blogspot.com
Ha, ha, ha…telling it like it is. He thought it was a good plan until she vowed not to let him see her naked until she lost the weight…and then grabbed a large tub of Ben & Jerrys and locked herself in the bathroom. Good going genius.
Photo credit: http://www.cracked.com
The key word here is “might”…he doesn’t even go to the trouble of making a phoney promise…lol
Photo credit: http://www.thisnext.com
I don’t know about you ladies, but I take this as a huge compliment. Just sayin’.
Photo credit: http://www.etsy.com
So there you have it…ten Valentine’s Day cards you won’t likely find at Hallmark. When I was there awhile ago, I remember also not seeing any cards for friends with benefits. Step into the 21st century Hallmark.
Staying in the theme of love and other assorted garbage, what was the most romantic thing your significant other ever did for you? Doesn’t have to be for Valentine’s Day. In fact, it’s even better if it was for no reason in particular.
You are always good for a giggle after a hard day.
Sorry you had a tough day Jenn. But I’m glad I could make you smile at least.
Ha! Not really bad. Just the kiddies sometimes, ya know?
Yes, I do. I’m really glad that mine are older now. It takes a lot of patience with young kids. Something I don’t have much of anymore…
So it will get better? Actually they are being good today.
Better in some ways, worse in others. I don’t want to spoil it for you though. Isn’t life much more interesting when it’s full of….surprises?
Ha! Sometimes.
this was hilarious and i love you ’cause you know, you did threaten and all. loool. seriously, where in the feck did you find all of these? xoxo, sm
Glad you liked it Becky.
I thought of dessert and ended up here
Are you enjoying your Tuesday yet? xxxx
I wouldn’t mind a bit of anything that is going actually,
xxxx
how about we start with the chocolates and see where
we go from there
Hope you had a fun Valentine’s Day Wendy
You don’t need chocolates. I am dessert.
Edible paints are on the list but if
you can think of anything else then
just chime in anytime that you like
Who said weekends are dull?
xxx
I love you Wendy.
I love you slightly less than Gin….this one has me written all over it!
I despise Hallmark Day!
I knew that I would find kindred spirits out there. And I love you too Valentine.
Love this. My husband doesn’t believe in Hallmark created holidays but I believe big things come in small packages so here’s hoping he plops something awesome down, say, February 15. =p
What is the 15th?
Fifteen years ago, on Valentine’s Day, I had my first memorable experience with lactose intolerance. Romantic, eh?
Very. Hope this year’s is better for you.
I agree, chocolate love day should be 365 days a year.
Well, actually it is for me.
For me too Binky.
We can celebrate together over a box of chocolates!
Name the time and place.
I don’t demand romance, and for that I’m sure my husband is eternally grateful. And I don’t do Valentine’s Day. Boy, I sound like a lot of fun, don’t I?
No…you just sound incredibly flexible and I’m sure your hubby is grateful.
xo
I hate valentine’s, so thanks for the great post
I think a lot of people hate this holiday. That’s why poking fun at it has almost become a public service.
You make my pee pee feel funny..love it..lol
lol…nice to see you merbear.
Too many of those cards are appropriate for me.
Me too Undercover….me too.
LOL I like them.
Glad you enjoyed them Rebecca.