As 2012 comes to an end, I can’t help but sob hopelessly go over the events of the year in my mind. To name just a few…
~ My daughter turned 16 in November and had her first boyfriend and her first heartbreak this year. Stupid little bastard didn’t even have the cahonies to break up with her in person. He sent her a message on facebook. The following day he was calling her saying that he made a big mistake and wanted to get back together. She told him forget it. I taught her well.
~ I bought my first new car…a 2013 Hyundai Accent.
~ My youngest son moved out, and on the same weekend, my oldest son moved back in. Fucking awesome.
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~ I started a new job at the end of March that I still love. That’s a record for me. Hard for me to find legal work that I enjoy.
We have to wear hair nets, lab coats and protective plastic over that. If I look fat, it’s because Im wearing a parka and 3 sweaters underneath
~ After 2 1/2 years being smoke free, I picked up the habit again like the idiot that I am. And of all times to pick to start, why in the middle of fucking winter?
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Photo credit: cguevarakchs.edublogs.org
9. I will NOT be quitting smoking. I just started again. Let me poison myself for awhile and then I’ll try to quit again. Maybe.
8. I will NOT relax more. I relax too much already. I’m getting fat.
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7. I will NOT stop flashing passenger trains. Just the thought of it sends chills through my body and makes my nipples hard.
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6. I will NOT be losing weight. I gained weight when I quit smoking and then gained more when I got sick last spring. I managed to lose about 30 lbs and then gained a few back. And just to make things interesting, I’m menopausal as well. No wonder my husband spends hours in the garage working on the money pit his project car.
5. I will NOT be spending more time with my children. I’ve been counting the days until their 18th birthdays since the day they were born.
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4. I will NOT be going skydiving. Something else I’ve pondered in the past. And then I realized that I’D BE FALLING FROM A FUCKING AIRPLANE.
3. I will NOT be participating in an orgy. Another passing fancy of mine, I’ve finally decided to answer the invitations I’ve received with a resounding NO THANKS (but try me again in a few months…)
2. I will NOT quit drinking. It makes me happy. So fuck you.
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1. And the number one thing you will NOT see me do in 2013…is act my age. Once I do that, I’m fucked.
I do know one thing though, if I live to a ripe old age, I won’t be like any other granny you’ve met. 
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I promise not to act my age, either. We don’t get a lot of trains to flash around here, so I’ll have to think of something else. Great read here.
Tim
Thanks so much Tim. Glad to have you visit.
Hysterical! Thanks for making me laugh out loud!!
Thank you kindly Nine Cent Girl. Oh…and btw…you’re worth at LEAST a loonie to me.
Other than the skydiving one, I agree with all the rest. I wish there were more trains, though.
Happy new year <3
My husband is a train conductor (engineer-trained as well). I got to ride with him a couple of times.
Until I moved here, I never lived fr from a train…this place is far too boring
I like the new look around here Wendy
I have an Award waiting in
Noooooo
and I hope that you are enjoying a nice
evening without having to work too hard
all the time
My Gothic Realm for you so don’t forget
to call in and grab hold of it
the award I meant
Cheeky
lmao
Andro xxx
I will have to go and check that out then. You like the new design? I’m going to make an announcement as to where my writing is going. And I’m grabbing hold…what do I do now?
xo
You know what to do
Now as I have already read about your new regime
I will just leave you some freshly made Andro scones with strawberry jam and
a little bit of cheese, they taste absolutely delicious together
Have a funtastic evening ahead, nooo no
lmao
way, I mean in front, noooo no no later
Andro xxx
Go you! This is one of the better (and funnier) lists I’ve read! I won’t be skydiving or bungee jumping either.
Thanks Jenn! That means a lot coming from such a talented writer as yourself.
Awe, you’re so sweet. I always enjoy your blog. I never know what I’ll find.
I adore your list! There isn’t a thing on it I would disagree with, not one. Sounds to me a perfect 2013!
Hi Valentine and glad you liked my post. Happy New Year! xo
The next time I visit, I’m wearing my seat belt and helmet!
I DO tend to drive a bit fast Binky, so that might be a good idea.
I was just talking about your postings!
Oh….hahaha
Well, where do you live, Wendy? I’d like to take a train ride.
I can only do it when my husband is out of town. For some reason, knowing that I show my tits to strangers doesn’t fill him with the warm, fuzzy feeling that it does me.
Hmm…That’s strange. Most people I know love to spread…uh, joy.
I know, right? I think there’s something wrong with him.
There has to be. He shouldn’t deny something that brings happiness to others. That’s selfish.
I agree.
I can always count on a good laugh when I come see you!
Happy New Year, Wendy!
Thanks Deb…and we have to laugh at life, don’t we? Happy New Year to you too Deb. xo
Yes, we do Wendy. You always make me laugh too. Happy New Year!
xx
Love ya!
Right back at you pretty lady! xo
Happy New Year, Wendy! I love your year in review, and am happy that showing your tits to strangers isn’t on your bucket list. xoxo Stacie
Happy New Year cutie pie! There are a lot of things not on my bucket list, because I’ve already done enough crazy shit already. xo
I am just boarding the next train, I do hope
Right your 2012
that I am not too late for a good flashing session
Okay so I like… Never mind
was a bit of a wicked affair but now 2013 is here
I want to know everything blow by blow, well maybe
not so graphic but you catch my drift, I hope
Did I mention how naughty and wicked you were in
2012? Well this year will have to be different, yes do
try your hardest to be good for a change, difficult for
you I know but try anyway and see how you get on
That creepo spineless sh*t of a boyfriend of your
Okay enough of my waffling, do
I am sure
lol
daughter is definitely best left in the gutter with that
sh*tty attitude problem that he has, of course there
is always the Zombie option if required and with a
double diner that could be a tad gruesome, especially
with the desserts
enjoy a very naughty Hump Day and don’t forget to
read me some of your bedtime stories
that I will enjoy those
Andro xxx
Why did I know that you would comment on the flashing part Andro!
Don’t ever change.
Wendy xo
Well because I am too
lol
naughty that’s why
I am just on my way out,
you know sliding off the lid
and venturing into the night,
well late afternoon then but
it is still rather dark here,
even the skellies are shivering
Okay I will see you later Wendy,
lol
flashing something as I pass by
no doubt
Andro xxx
Yes Andro, I’d love to send that young man a zombie visitor but I think that he has been punished enough. The whole school knows of his spinelessness and he missed out on having a wonderful, caring, crazier than batshit girlfriend.
thats hawesome wendy !i really like it .keep up the good work !!
Thanks Mart. And hopefully 2013 will be even better than 2012 was.
Wendy, I just realized something: I love you. Can’t believe that I’m just now finding out about you…
…I foresee good times ahead.
I’m all for good times Adam…let ‘em roll.
You’re hysterical, Wendy! Happy New Year to you! It sounds like you know yourself well. Yay on the new car and a job you like. #7 really made me laugh.
Thank you Bumble Files!
Say, Wendy, don’t hold back. Why don’t you tell us what you really think…
By the way, you know I don’t like the smoking part–not one little bit, sweet thing. We want you around for a while. But I clicked the ‘like’ button anyway, because you made me laugh.
Thanks Carebear. xo
You must know me enough by now Carrie…I don’t mince words.
Love it Wendy! Rock on girl!
I remember my daughter turning 16. Oy.
I plan on checking your books this year.
Red
Just put them both on my Kindle!
Great!
Thank you very much Red.